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Look what she did to me! I just found this on shanghai massage ylyzd505 her blog, I was crying with laughter! I love her and I know she won’t mind that? I just stole this pic clean off of her site. Now? I have to tell you all the story of the crazy bus driver..you couldn’t make this up. I have many ‘almost unbelievable’ yarns to tell you, but ‘fact is stranger than fiction’ is most certainly true here. Once upon a time…I sometimes do my food shopping in a certain area where there is a bustop right outside, and it stops right outside my house. So lots of heavy bags aren’t such a chore when I can be bussed almost door to door. So one day I was leaving this supermarket with 3 bags on each arm, and the bus was just in sight..spendid and spiffing! The bus fare was ?￡1 in London at the time, but I was fishing about with 50p, 20p, 1p’s etc. It added to ?￡1, good. So I got on, it was pretty full, but I had the suitcase section to put my bags in and a seat beside the driver. ”?￡1 please!” said I.”Wha’ tha fuck dya expect me ta dae wi’ that?” came the response…A very rough tough male Glasgow accent. I was faffing around with the bags, not looking at the driver, at this moment. So, of course with this aggressive retort, I looked up..to see the most incredibly shocking sight. A full on Lily Savage style drag queen driving the bus. Big blonde bouffant wig, plastered in garish disco make up, false eyelashes, 5 o’clock shadow, hairy arms with home made tattoos, chandelier earrings, tarty pink blouse, I can’t even recall it all, it was all too much, and she/he was screeching abuse at me for my coinage! I let out a gasp of shock, can you imagine? This was never ever going to remotely pass for a woman, but it was deadly serious, oh yes it was. Silence..you could cut the atmosphere with a special atmosphere cutter. (got that off Peter Kay, hehe) Lily starts her tirade at me, and I looked around at the full bus, had they not seen this? Please help me! Oh no, Londoners go about their business, staring out of the window..I wanted to get a mirror out of my bag and shove it in Lily’s face and say, ”Have you seen yourself?” But I was speechless..(not like me eh, haha) I still tried to ask for my ticket,? but to? no avail. So I tried to sit down, but the bus was wavering all over the road, Lily screaming her head off, she grabbed my coins and threw them out of? her window, they hit the windows at such speed, I thought they had shattered the panes. Now, the passengers started to react, many jumping up to ring the bell and shouting to stop, Lily was? snaking both sides of the road and then we came to the Elephant and Castle roundabout.. the bus was careering on two wheels now, slanting like a motorbike would. We went around the roundabout 5-6-7 times, it was like the film ‘Speed’ , everyone flung far and beyond, my bags were emptied, beetroot jars and cabbage flying around hitting passengers! This went on for 15 mins or so, people screaming to stop…Lily shouting at me all along! ‘Sweary Nan a la Catherine Tate’, with a harder edge… I was scared of Lily! She had? our lives in her hands, well.. steering wheel? We eventually got off the roundabout, and towards London shanghai massage ylyzd505 Bridge..100 miles an hr, swerving on both sides of the road, it was like an episode of? ’The Streets of San Francisco’ but in London, haha. Now I was thinking..if we can’t stop Lily asap, we are going to end up dead in the Thames, toppling over the edge of London Bridge? But we got to London Bridge, the stop on the Bridge, and she stopped and jumped out of the bus, and ran screaming down the road.. Phew… I took the reg of the bus and called TFL and told them the whole crazy story..they could hardly believe it, and neither can I, still. But I was there! I got a letter 2wks later saying Lily was in the hospital under sedation. She was obviously upset, but I like the fact that TFL had accepted someone out of the? mainstream appearance as an employee. It wasn’t working though, and other issues were obviously evident. I hope she’s ok now. I never did find that jar of beetroot, nor the cabbage.